Aint Too Proud To Beg...Or Are You?

"Now I heard a crying man, is half a man with NO sense of pride. But if I have to CRY to keep you, I don't mind weeping if it will keep you by my side. Aint too proud to beg..."

But is this always the case? I was recently talking to some friends of mine over lunch and we were discussing the educational gap between African Americans and our white counterparts, esp African Americans males. We discussed how African Americans students struggle throughout their academic career and will get passed along but yet haven't learned anything. Some of this is due to lack of resources that just may not be able to that individual, some of this may be due that there is only one parent in the household, who works a lot to provide for the family, so as a result the time and money that can should be invested in a child isn't, but a large part, that I feel contributes to this problem is the fact that African Americans don't ask for help.
African Americans, esp the males, are taught to be strong, the provider, they cannot be seen as weak. And asking for help, the majority of males feels is a sign of weakness. This problem traces all the way back to the early stages of a male's childhood. For example, if a little boy can't read in the first grade, when the teacher calls on him to read outloud, if he stutters or doesn't know the word, instead of asking for help, the child will either not read because he doesn't want to feel em brassed and have the whole class laughing at him or he will act out so that he won't have to read. Males, subconsciously learn at an early age not to ask for help because of their pride. And they take this attitude with them throughout life, so instead of seeking help for something they can't understand in 6th grade, they struggle and do just enough to pass and never ask for help.
We, in the African American HAVE to do better! We have to teach our children that there are NO stupid questions! Children of other races and colors will ask a teacher a question until that child is blue in the face and a black child can be in that very same classroom and have that same problem and could be struggling just as much as the child asking the question, and the black child will sit therein silence and suffer.
This is NOT good! We have to have the courage to ask for help! NO ONE made it in this world alone! Someone needed help from someone else even if it was only a little help!
A man will be quick to ask and beg a woman for forgiveness (some won't even do that, they will let a good woman walk out of their life because of their pride! Smh) but won't ask a teacher how to solve a problem!
Those of us who make it, have to look back to our community and give back! Each one, teach one. We have to show them that it is ok to not know something, you just have to seek knowledge and ask for help!
As for the resources not being available in our community, well that's a whole other blog topic, oh but its coming soon!

Moral of the story: don't be too proud to ask for help. At one point of time, everyone needs help in this lifetime. No one can make it alone.

Do You Know What Today Is?!?! 0_o

Today, May 13, 2010 marks the one year anniversary for Jonathan and I.

I know one year doesn't seem like alot, but believe me, it was a long time coming. Don't get me wrong, I love Jonathan with all of my heart, that's my lil spoiled baby but it was hard work yall! lol...First off, we weren't like most couples our first year together because our first year was long distance. We spent 9 months of the year away from each other for our first year together. I am so very glad and blessed that we were strong enough to do such a thing. Some couples are together for years but cant be away from each other for that long without breaking up and going their separate ways and Jonathan and I did it our first year.
What Jonathan and I have is something very special and unique. Alot of people look at what we have and often wish they had it. What they don't know is that this takes hard work, we just make it LOOK easy! lol...
We learn and grow with each other every day. We pray and look to God for guidance and we seek wisdom from our elders and people who have been in our position before. I can honestly say that I have grown, developed, matured, and learned much more in this one relationship this year than all of my past relationships together. Jonathan and I push each other to our limit and than push even more.
We force each other out of our comfort zone, because we both know that we cannot live a life in fear. God said fear nothing and so we try our best not to.
One year ago told my life changed for the better and I have been grateful every since. Jonathan is my blessing that just continues to give and give and give and I love him so very much for that. We have one year down, but the rest of our life together to go. Times may get rough but I am not worried at all.
He is more than my lover, he is also my support system, biggest fan and my best friend. And at the end of the day, we both know that nobody loves him more than me and nobody loves me more than him, and no one ever will.
Do you know what today is?
Its me and my GB one year anniversary!!!!

Finally Done!!!

I know I havent wrote in a while, but the stress and heavy load of senior year was a bit much. The grind for me just took a break, not stopped completely, just a break, today! Lol!
It is May 10, 2010. I graduated from the prestigious Howard University on Friday May 7, 2010. Words cannot even begin to express the way my heart felt when my name was called and I walked across that stage. That was one of THE proudest moments of my life. I looked to my right and I saw all my previous teachers and mentors. I looked to my left and I saw some of my close friends who I know I will always remain in contact with, visit, and will invite to other important events in my life such as my wedding, my first baby shower, 30th birthday, etc etc. Most importantly, I looked in front of me and saw my biggest fans/supporters/believers, my family. I saw my aunts screaming my name and snapping pictures, my parents and grandparents with that proud look on my face that said, "my baby did it". I saw my siblings clapping and my cousins standing and yelling for me. And last but not least I saw the love and pride in Jonathan's eyes. I saw all of these things in a matter of ten seconds.
And although I didn't go to the big, end of the year annual graduation party at club Love later that night, and I woke up too late the next morning and missed the university's graduation, seeing that image from the stage on that Friday night meant more to me that weekend than anything that took place and that could ever take place at Howard University. That dwelling was surreal and bittersweet and I will forever have that etched in my memory. Now that I have graduated, it's time for the real world. And I carry some fear but not a lot because with my family, close friends, Jonathan and God by my side, I KNOW that I will be just fine!
Mama I made it!!!!!!