Isnt It Funny...

I wont even begin to address the fact that I am writing this blog....from work....on a Sunday...and that I am paid salary which means this over time I've been putting in lately....yeah, won't go there....

Anyways,

Isn't it funny how you want someone so bad, than a in a matter of days, you don't?
You can go from sleeping next to someone every night, to the point of which, if that person isn't there by your side, you toss and turn all night.
Isn't it funny how you jump every time the phone rings with a phone call or a text, and you are hoping, wishing, praying that it's that special someone you've been waiting for to reach out to you all day, to barely noticing that you haven't made contact with that very same person all day?
It's just so funny to me how feelings can be so temporary at times.
How you can have this passion burning in you for someone and within a matter of mere days or weeks, that fire has been put out....forever.
But of course there are things that take place that causes feelings to change...

But I just think all the time,

I liked you a while ago,

I loved you, needed you, yearned you a couple months ago,

I was fighting for your attention a couple weeks ago,



now


I go days without a phone call or a text from you,







And I'm fine.



Ain't...that...funny?!

Which Is Harder.....

Which is harder....
Being a woman and having a good man after a bad one....
Or being a good man and being with a woman after she has dealt with a bad man?


Or are both equally just as hard?

Im A Fool, Such A Fool

I have been listening to this song on repeat for a while now. I'm addicted to it. Maybe because Jonathan used to play it so much and sing it to me. Now I love it! Go figure! But I love it, and I love Cee Lo. He's an amazing, crazy talented artist and his last album Lady Killer was awesome (purchase it sap sap!) Well, enjoy it! Thank me later!




"So rare they swear that you just don't exist..."

Who Runs LA?

Today, I saw a full episode of Basketball Wives LA for the first time...and I was NOT impressed, and that's putting it....nicely
These women, who are suppose to be grown, ganging up on one of the younger girls, Draya. Why? So what she had a past and she used to dance? Who cares! Who are THEY to judge someone? And why does she constantly have to explain and prove herself to them?!
In case you didnt know or can't tell, I am NOT a fan of reality TV. Never got into any of the dating shows, the real world shows, the Jersey shore shows, not even any of the wedding shows. I can count on both hands how many times I actually sat and watched a full episode of any reality TV show...
Anywhooooo
You have these "wives" who portray nothing but drama and negativity in the light....I can't believe the way these women carry on on national television and how they carry themselves...
They are pathetic...and how their husbands actually deal with this BS and allow it to go on is beyond me, because their wife is a direct representation of them, and if the wives arent putting out a good representation....no need for me to go any further...
Just think about it, seriously for a minute, those who are really successful and have nothing to prove, don't have these reality tv shows....the chances of you ever seeing Denzel's wife, or Jada, or even Kobe's Wife, or Lebron spouse on such a show is very very very slim.
I mean LaLa (Carmelo Anthony's wife) has her own show, but it is NOTHING like these shows and her husband is actually a current somebody...all of these wives on this shows, their husbands are "role players" to say the least...yeah they play on a time, but their husband isnt the SUPER STAR or hell even THE STAR...
Do these women need to be in the spotlight that bad? Are they hurting for money that much? These shows are low balls to me.
But hey, this is only MY opinion on MY blog....
To sum it all up,

Gloria, how dare you say you don't want to be associated with anyone like Draya who would do something like that to a child, when you're in a domestic violent relationship? Your husband beats you in front of your kids. I think that's more damaging for people to hear about that you having a friendship with Draya.

Laura, why are you on here? Because you're Gloria's sister or because you fucked Shaq? Either one, you're a "non effing factor boo boo" *in Evelyn voice* You're not relevant....go google that!

Kim isnt on there anymore, thank God she opened her eyes!

Imani, you're a former basketball wife, you're marriage is over, and everyone knows....so why are you on the show? Go find a man, make that your focus esp since you are talking about possible marriage...go sit down

Malaysia, actually isnt half bad. She's starting her own jewelry line for kids, kudos to you mama! But who you hang with is a reflection of you, so drop the negative Nancy's and nay sayers, you don't need their negative light outshining your positive one.

Jackie, wouldn't be so bad, if she wasn't so phony. One minute you dislike Draya and you're judging her and saying she needs her ass whooped when you're not in front of her, but when you're in front of her, its a different story. And every episode it seems you have a problem with someone....maybe if you are having issues with everyone else, its not everyone else, its you...maybe take a season off and use that as a time to do some self reflection.

Draya, who are these women to you? Effing nobodies! You dont have to prove yourself to them. So what you did some shitty stuff in the past, unlike most of them, you are young and still learning. You will be fine. But you don't need the negativity in your life either. I know it's very draining. Focus on moving forward and making positive decisions. You don't have to answer to anyone about your past that isnt talking about putting a damn ring on your finger or blocking the gates for you to get to heaven, meaning your future husband or God, and these women are neither! Hello! *snaps fingers*

Four out of the six that's still on the show, are washed up haters! VH1 if yall want to give shows to just anyone, trust and believe, I have better ideas and more positive ones, ones that WON'T cast African American females in a negative light....if you are looking for something better!

Who runs LA? None of them that's for damn sure!

I'm A Dreamer

I truly want the African American race to do better....
All the way across the board, on all playing fields.
But there will always be those who love to dwell in ignorance and make drama their life line.
I just want bigger, brighter, better futures
For all those little black boys and girls.
I wish for unity with my people like during the Civil Rights Movement.
But do things really have to be that bad before we come together as a people?
I want the black family back.
The proud working father and husband.
The equally hard working and supportive mother and wife.
I want it to take a village to raise the children again.
Wishful thinking from a dreamer striving to change the world.

Simply Put

There are two things I'm truly terrified of happening to me
1) getting stuck in an elevator without any form of communication
2)getting attacked by a stray cat
I only watch four shows faithfully,
1) Law & Order SVU
2) The Good Wife
3) Suits
4) The Game
I want four children.
I love even numbers. Loathe odd numbers.
When I become a lawyer I want to help those who made mistakes when they were younger but now want to do better with their life.
I have an IPod, Jackson. And my IPad, Lindsey. My IPhone, Xavier is due to arrive in November. My Mac book, Lexingon will be here in February.
Family, my siblings esp, mean everything to me.
I work hard every day on my relationship with God.
I love Jonathan more than one could fathom.
I want need to grow old with Jonathan.
And that is all.

Switch The Style Up!

I have had my hair in damn near every style possible except for locs (but I was aiming for that also)...I have naturally long hair, sandy brown....I went natural for almost a year, cut it off and now I have glued some hair back into my head! LOL...

None the less, below are pictures of all my hair styles....
Im open to suggestions for anything in the future!

This is me with my own hair, it was pincurled

My regular hair with curls

When I cut my hair into a bob

My bangs with a knot ball ponytail

Rods! When I was on #TeamNatural

My regular hair in a wrap!

A twist out! Basically I had braids and I took them down... #TeamNatural

Two strand twist #TeamNatural

Wavy weave

Weave ponytail

Micro braids


















Sew in

Invisible part

than I cut it all off! From 15 inches to 3!

Annddd than I glued some tracks back in! lol....So now Im back at 16 inches!

My life is a journey and so are my hair styles, so I just try it and enjoy the ride!

Oh, Idk if yall noticed or not, but I really REALLY like taking pics!

Im not conceited or anything, I just really love the way I look and I love my face!

Heavy On My Mind

This song has been heavy on my mind lately.
It just speaks to my soul
And tell the secrets that I hoard on my heart
That no one knows about
Its the IV that is keeping my heart pumping
So I can make it through these rocky days
That are as stable as a ship during a storm at sea

"Some say I'll be better without you
But they don't know you like I do
Or at least the sides I thought I knew"




"When we spoke yesterday,
You said to hold my breath... to sit and wait
I'll be home so soon, I won't be late'"

lately Ive been an emotional wreck.
I wont apologize for my feelings.

Hurt Ending

The ending hurt
Even though the beginning was never supposed to start
Mixed feelings
Stay
Go
Leave
Come back
Love
hate
weakness
bi-polar,
I diagnosed myself
I cant take it
And than I can
So strong in other areas
But this is my weakness
How can one be so weak
Over something that was never supposed to happen
In the first place?
Its wrong
But right
is what I feel
If all good things come to an end
Does that mean that bad things last forever?
I want you to stay
But I know you gotta go
This was never supposed to happen
Even though the beginning was never supposed to start
It still hurts in the end

Jumbled Thoughts

I often get these random thoughts in my head
and it clutters my mind
And I cant think straight
And things get all twisted up like a ball of rubber bands.
I dont know how to get rid of these thoughts
Or sort them
Like how preschool teachers do with cubby holes for the kids
And so
I just sit
With these jumbled thoughts in my head
Late at night
Hoping that God will make them still
So I can be at peace again