Old Enough For That But Not This? O_o

I was having a conversation with a friend of mine the other day, and we were discussing men and responsibilities. A mutual friend of ours, who shall remain nameless, put on his fb status that he was looking for a woman, a good woman, not a little girl who could do all this stuff for him. And someone comments on his status and tells him, that he is still young, that he doesn't have to rush to settle down. Ummm excuse me ma'am, he is currently 27 years old, going on 28! He is damn near 30 and you are telling him that he is too young to settle down? So when do you suggest he settle down and become a real man?
What kills me, is that alot of people, are ENABLERS! People are VERY quick to tell someone that they are way too young to be settling down....but wait, they are old enough to have a child tho! What I do not understand, is that these same men who are old enough to be a father, but not enough to be a man, settle down and be in a committed relationship? Soooo he's old enough to be someones father but NOT some one's husband? I do not understand that logic at all!
Your life does not end after you get into a marriage or a committed relationship! In fact, you enjoy life even more because you don't have to deal with the BS people tell you when are you out in the field "dating" or "talking to someone".
I'm def NOT trying to get down or bash anyone who has children at any age, it just slightly annoys me when people enable these men like this!
So if we were to talk the example I opened up with, this man is 27 years old. When you meet someone, you want to spend time at least a year or two with them before you realize that they are the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. So lets say he's 29 now, and the couple is engaged. It takes about 6 months to a year to plan a big, successful wedding, which every woman usually wants. So now he's 30. That's fine. But he wants time with his wife before they start having children. So now he's 33 years old, having his first child. The wife doesn't want the children back to back, so the couple agrees to space the children out by three years, and the husband wants three or four children. So this man is having his fourth child at about 42! That is trying to do alot. Raising a newborn at 42 years old esp if both the husband and wife are still working. I am not saying it cannot be done, because it can. That's just alot!
Most people want to retire around that age, so that they can enjoy time with their children out of the house (by that time). And enjoy time to themselves, travel a little, before they settle down into old age and their body starts going through the middle age changes.
Maybe some people want to live their life like that. I know I don't. I do not still want to be having children into my forties! That is too risky and too much to deal with! I want to be wrapping up to retire at about 48, not having someone under 10 years old still living in my house! Maybe that's just me.
All Im saying, please do not tell a young man that he is old enough to be a father between the ages of 16 and 27, but tell him he is too young to be in a committed relationship, or to be some one's husband! That's ass backwards to me! A child is ALOT more responsibility than being in a relationship with another adult!
If you are old enough for one, you should be enough for both, not just one and not the other!

Best Way To Destroy A Race (In Case You Were Wondering)

"The best way to eliminate a race is to give them the means to destroy themselves". This line came from an infamous African American movie Boys In The Hood. And Lawrence Fishburne was exactly on point when he proclaimed this statement. We, the African American community, are given, or we easily [can] obtain the very things that tear down our very own people in the community, drugs, gangs, guns, sex, STDs, HIV/AIDs, liquor, cigarettes, etc etc. We can't blame any one for tearing down our people but ourselves. We continuously allow the BS to enter our neighborhood, walk right pass it in the streets and either make a smart comment or blame it on the white people for oppressing us. Not enough people are fighting to get out of this oppressed state tho. Mentor a child, help someone out, give back. I will keep this post short and simple, don't be a part of tearing down your race, you're either part of the solution or part of the problem, there is no in between.

Aint Too Proud To Beg...Or Are You?

"Now I heard a crying man, is half a man with NO sense of pride. But if I have to CRY to keep you, I don't mind weeping if it will keep you by my side. Aint too proud to beg..."

But is this always the case? I was recently talking to some friends of mine over lunch and we were discussing the educational gap between African Americans and our white counterparts, esp African Americans males. We discussed how African Americans students struggle throughout their academic career and will get passed along but yet haven't learned anything. Some of this is due to lack of resources that just may not be able to that individual, some of this may be due that there is only one parent in the household, who works a lot to provide for the family, so as a result the time and money that can should be invested in a child isn't, but a large part, that I feel contributes to this problem is the fact that African Americans don't ask for help.
African Americans, esp the males, are taught to be strong, the provider, they cannot be seen as weak. And asking for help, the majority of males feels is a sign of weakness. This problem traces all the way back to the early stages of a male's childhood. For example, if a little boy can't read in the first grade, when the teacher calls on him to read outloud, if he stutters or doesn't know the word, instead of asking for help, the child will either not read because he doesn't want to feel em brassed and have the whole class laughing at him or he will act out so that he won't have to read. Males, subconsciously learn at an early age not to ask for help because of their pride. And they take this attitude with them throughout life, so instead of seeking help for something they can't understand in 6th grade, they struggle and do just enough to pass and never ask for help.
We, in the African American HAVE to do better! We have to teach our children that there are NO stupid questions! Children of other races and colors will ask a teacher a question until that child is blue in the face and a black child can be in that very same classroom and have that same problem and could be struggling just as much as the child asking the question, and the black child will sit therein silence and suffer.
This is NOT good! We have to have the courage to ask for help! NO ONE made it in this world alone! Someone needed help from someone else even if it was only a little help!
A man will be quick to ask and beg a woman for forgiveness (some won't even do that, they will let a good woman walk out of their life because of their pride! Smh) but won't ask a teacher how to solve a problem!
Those of us who make it, have to look back to our community and give back! Each one, teach one. We have to show them that it is ok to not know something, you just have to seek knowledge and ask for help!
As for the resources not being available in our community, well that's a whole other blog topic, oh but its coming soon!

Moral of the story: don't be too proud to ask for help. At one point of time, everyone needs help in this lifetime. No one can make it alone.

Do You Know What Today Is?!?! 0_o

Today, May 13, 2010 marks the one year anniversary for Jonathan and I.

I know one year doesn't seem like alot, but believe me, it was a long time coming. Don't get me wrong, I love Jonathan with all of my heart, that's my lil spoiled baby but it was hard work yall! lol...First off, we weren't like most couples our first year together because our first year was long distance. We spent 9 months of the year away from each other for our first year together. I am so very glad and blessed that we were strong enough to do such a thing. Some couples are together for years but cant be away from each other for that long without breaking up and going their separate ways and Jonathan and I did it our first year.
What Jonathan and I have is something very special and unique. Alot of people look at what we have and often wish they had it. What they don't know is that this takes hard work, we just make it LOOK easy! lol...
We learn and grow with each other every day. We pray and look to God for guidance and we seek wisdom from our elders and people who have been in our position before. I can honestly say that I have grown, developed, matured, and learned much more in this one relationship this year than all of my past relationships together. Jonathan and I push each other to our limit and than push even more.
We force each other out of our comfort zone, because we both know that we cannot live a life in fear. God said fear nothing and so we try our best not to.
One year ago told my life changed for the better and I have been grateful every since. Jonathan is my blessing that just continues to give and give and give and I love him so very much for that. We have one year down, but the rest of our life together to go. Times may get rough but I am not worried at all.
He is more than my lover, he is also my support system, biggest fan and my best friend. And at the end of the day, we both know that nobody loves him more than me and nobody loves me more than him, and no one ever will.
Do you know what today is?
Its me and my GB one year anniversary!!!!

Finally Done!!!

I know I havent wrote in a while, but the stress and heavy load of senior year was a bit much. The grind for me just took a break, not stopped completely, just a break, today! Lol!
It is May 10, 2010. I graduated from the prestigious Howard University on Friday May 7, 2010. Words cannot even begin to express the way my heart felt when my name was called and I walked across that stage. That was one of THE proudest moments of my life. I looked to my right and I saw all my previous teachers and mentors. I looked to my left and I saw some of my close friends who I know I will always remain in contact with, visit, and will invite to other important events in my life such as my wedding, my first baby shower, 30th birthday, etc etc. Most importantly, I looked in front of me and saw my biggest fans/supporters/believers, my family. I saw my aunts screaming my name and snapping pictures, my parents and grandparents with that proud look on my face that said, "my baby did it". I saw my siblings clapping and my cousins standing and yelling for me. And last but not least I saw the love and pride in Jonathan's eyes. I saw all of these things in a matter of ten seconds.
And although I didn't go to the big, end of the year annual graduation party at club Love later that night, and I woke up too late the next morning and missed the university's graduation, seeing that image from the stage on that Friday night meant more to me that weekend than anything that took place and that could ever take place at Howard University. That dwelling was surreal and bittersweet and I will forever have that etched in my memory. Now that I have graduated, it's time for the real world. And I carry some fear but not a lot because with my family, close friends, Jonathan and God by my side, I KNOW that I will be just fine!
Mama I made it!!!!!!

Water Bill Too High???

My pastor once said, "the grass isn't green on the other side, its green where you water it"...and nothing has ever made more sense to me in my life. It means focus on working on your own ish, your own grass instead of focusing on what someone else has....
Let me break down for yall....
You know how people always think that things are better on the other side of the fence? For example, you may look at one couple and feel like they are perfect, they never fight, they live together, you never hear about any arguments they have, he treats her like an angel supposedly, and you want that....you wonder well what would it be like to be over there on the other side of the fence in that perfect relationship? What you fail to realize, is that their grass may look green but you don't know how much their water bill is! Yeah, their relationship may look perfect to you, but you don't know at what costs that it takes for them to appear that way. They could have put years into working things out in their relationship. Maybe that man was a cheating, lying, abusive bastard and that woman left him for several years, and when they got back together when he got his stuff together and knew how to treat her like a real woman. Would you be willingly to go through her struggle of paying that high ass "water bill" to get her perfectly green grass that she seems to have now?
And this could be said about anything. Say you envy that beautiful girl on campus, she has the perfect body and she is flawless and always on point, but what if she puts in mad hours at the gym to get that perfect body and she has perfected the art of hair and make up after several years...are you willingly to take the time to learn that skill?
What I'm trying to say, is that you cant want what other people have unless you are willingly to do what they did to get where they at/what they have. Everything comes at a price, and some people are willingly to pay a higher prices than others, perhaps yourself will.
So the next time you envy what someone else has and you think that their grass is greener on the side, remember to keep in mind their water bill to pay for that green grass. And maybe, if you are willingly to pay, the grass on the other side wont be greener, it will be green where you water your own grass. If you put work into your own grass and not focus on envying someone else, your grass will be greener....remember, "the grass isn't green on the other side, it's green where you water it"....

Too Cute!!!

I dont usually post stuff about celebs, like gossip and all that other ish...but this was waayyyy too cute to pass up! So just watch the video and enjoy because I did.