This is currently how I am feeling. I'm in the last semester of my senior year, and it troubles me that the friends that I had my freshmen year, close friends of mine, are either not my friends anymore or we aren't as close.And people tell me all the time that friends grow apart, and that as you grow older, you don't lose friends you just learn who the real ones are....and even though I know this to be true...some
times it just hurts my heart. I have a hard outer interior, but once I let you in, I let you in. And I don't let alot of people in, esp females, so if I do, it saddens me when I grow apart from someone, or we stop being friends for whatever reason. See I have this habit of being my all into these "friendships"...and though I've already found it to be a fact, I could never really get with giving my loyalty and friendship and my being whole heartdly and not getting that shit back.It just saddens me. I learn not to live with regrets and that everything happens for a reason.....but sometimes, times like this, when I'm alone in my room, in the wee hours of the morning, I wonder how come? Was it me? Was [EYE] not a good friend? Did I change with the seasons? And I have come to realize, that no, it's not me. I don't hold grudges, I retain memories.Good memories, and I want it back....but a friendship, just like any other relationship, is a two way street."I changed huh? You got a phone, pick it up, call me ..."
So does this mean that we werent real friends to begin with?
I went through this too....even moreso after I graduated and wasnt seeing these people who I thought I was "close" with everyday. I'm kinda glad now though I have really narrowed down my inner circle. It was hard, but worth it.
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