Day 2-Ten Yrs Down The Road?!

I know it's quite a large gap in between day 2 and day 1 lol but I have been realllllyyy busy! I have been working a lot!
I work for this non-profit organization Housing Opportunities for Women that helps break the cycle of homelessness among women and families. We have women in our title but we help men also. And it's just been really hectic there but it is expected to be calm down by next week sometime. So maybe next week I wont be getting off works so late and I wont be too tired to do anything but go to bed when I make it here! lol
And although my job wears me out, I cannot lie I love my job and I love my co-workers.
Now that that's out of the way.....on to Day 2 topic....where I see myself in ten years


Hmmm in ten years....I plan to be a lawyer by the time. Should have a child or two and happily married with Jonathan and working on continuing my career and building my family a strong foundation.
At least that's MY plan. God may have other plans. And I'm quite ok with that.

At the very least, in ten years I wish to be just if not more blessed than I am currently. In my career field and still building a wonderful future to retire when I get old and senile with Jonathan. Yeah, that sounds about right :)

Day 1!

"Got more than a thing for you, tattoo and the ink for you"

Ummm, for day one I am suppose to discuss my current relationship status....

and Immmm....lol....still w/ my GB....my JXD...yep Jonathan Dowdy. lol...we have made some changes tho and moved some things around. We were planning to get married early on but we changed our mind. We are going to wait some time after law school. And we are also waiting to live together. Although it seems like merely days, we are coming into the home stretch of two years. So we have decided to slow things down a little bit and just enjoy each other's company before jumping the gun on anything. I mean, we do plan on spending the rest of our lives together, so its no biggie. [At least, we PLAN to spend the rest of our life together...hehe]

So that's the update for us for now.

We are just smooth sailing.

We are have minor problems, but really nothing major.

This is the happiest I've been in a long time and I owe a lot of that to Jonathan.

He has my heart, like in a major way.

So I guess I can say....

my current relationship status is: taken and loving every minute of it.

:-)

Always and Forever #TeamDowdy

♥

Oh Leetttsss Doooo IIItttt!!!! LOL

Someone emailed me this...I actually think it was spam because....it was in my spam folder! LOL...But Imma do Imma do it Imma do it! Oooowwwww.....LEGO!!!

day 1 - your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is.
day 2 - where you’d like to be in 10 years.
day 3 - your views on drugs and alcohol.
day 4 - your views on religion.
day 5 - a time you thought about ending your own life.
day 6 - write 30 interesting facts about yourself.
day 7 - your zodiac sign and if you think it fits your personality.
day 8 - a moment you felt the most satisfied with your life.
day 9 - how you hope your future will be like.
day 10 - discuss your first love and first kiss.
day 11 - put your ipod on shuffle and write 10 songs that pop up.
day 12 - bullet your whole day.
day 13 - somewhere you’d like to move or visit.
day 14 - your earliest memory.
day 15 - your favourite tumblrs.
day 16 - your views on mainstream music.
day 17 - your highs and lows of this past year.
day 18 - your beliefs.
day 19 - disrespecting your parents.
day 20 - how important you think education is.
day 21 - one of your favorite shows.
day 22 - how have you changed in the past 2 years?
day 23 - give pictures of 5 guys who are famous who you find attractive.
day 24 - your favourite movie and what it’s about.
day 25 - someone who fascinates you and why.
day 26 - what kind of person attracts you.
day 27 - a problem that you have had.
day 28 - something that you miss.
day 29 - goals for the next 30 days.
day 30 - your highs and lows of this month

You Just...Greedy!!!

“Like it’s my fault that she got on welfare. I told her, we can go half on the Similac and a daycare. But no, she got comfortable at the bottom and wanted to stay there.”

Lyfe took the words right out of my mouth. I couldn’t have said them any better myself. Now I know that there are indeed some single moms who truly do need the assistance from child support. But I also know quite a few mothers who don’t. They (the mothers) are doing fine and some are even more than fine without the assistance of child support. However, these females are still bitter. And as a result, the child’s mother tries and put the child’s father on child support out of spite. There are two things that I have learned when it comes to dealing with spite:

1) Spite is a very hard emotion to contain, which leads to a person trying to (and sometimes succeeding) to take a form of action.
2) 98.9% of things done out of spite, the person who acted out of spite ends up regretting it down the road, rather it be short or long term.

Now I am NOT by any means letting the males off of the hook. If you were man enough to create the baby, be man enough to take care of the baby. Take care of your responsibilities fellas! And don’t stop being a father to your child if/when you stop messing around with the child’s mother. Both parents need to act as adults when it comes down to matters that pertain and affect the child.

But women definitely need to stop acting out of spite when it comes to these children, because the one that gets hurt and affected by it the MOST is the child. Oh, toand a little ps for you ladies that is quick to pull the child support card and then turn around and try pull the “you can’t see your baby card”….nope, nope! You cannot do that ladies. If a man (or woman) is paying child support, that man has visitation rights bound by the law because of the fact that he is paying child support. So when you think you’ve won because you got your “baby daddy” on child support AND you control when he gets to see the child, you’re wrong! You’re out here losing and you are doing your child a disservice and an injustice. And don’t be mad if he turns and take YOU to court because you are denying him rights to see his child. You must remember when playing with fire, to be careful, because someone is bound to get burned, and that someone just may be you.

Old Enough For That But Not This? O_o

I was having a conversation with a friend of mine the other day, and we were discussing men and responsibilities. A mutual friend of ours, who shall remain nameless, put on his fb status that he was looking for a woman, a good woman, not a little girl who could do all this stuff for him. And someone comments on his status and tells him, that he is still young, that he doesn't have to rush to settle down. Ummm excuse me ma'am, he is currently 27 years old, going on 28! He is damn near 30 and you are telling him that he is too young to settle down? So when do you suggest he settle down and become a real man?
What kills me, is that alot of people, are ENABLERS! People are VERY quick to tell someone that they are way too young to be settling down....but wait, they are old enough to have a child tho! What I do not understand, is that these same men who are old enough to be a father, but not enough to be a man, settle down and be in a committed relationship? Soooo he's old enough to be someones father but NOT some one's husband? I do not understand that logic at all!
Your life does not end after you get into a marriage or a committed relationship! In fact, you enjoy life even more because you don't have to deal with the BS people tell you when are you out in the field "dating" or "talking to someone".
I'm def NOT trying to get down or bash anyone who has children at any age, it just slightly annoys me when people enable these men like this!
So if we were to talk the example I opened up with, this man is 27 years old. When you meet someone, you want to spend time at least a year or two with them before you realize that they are the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. So lets say he's 29 now, and the couple is engaged. It takes about 6 months to a year to plan a big, successful wedding, which every woman usually wants. So now he's 30. That's fine. But he wants time with his wife before they start having children. So now he's 33 years old, having his first child. The wife doesn't want the children back to back, so the couple agrees to space the children out by three years, and the husband wants three or four children. So this man is having his fourth child at about 42! That is trying to do alot. Raising a newborn at 42 years old esp if both the husband and wife are still working. I am not saying it cannot be done, because it can. That's just alot!
Most people want to retire around that age, so that they can enjoy time with their children out of the house (by that time). And enjoy time to themselves, travel a little, before they settle down into old age and their body starts going through the middle age changes.
Maybe some people want to live their life like that. I know I don't. I do not still want to be having children into my forties! That is too risky and too much to deal with! I want to be wrapping up to retire at about 48, not having someone under 10 years old still living in my house! Maybe that's just me.
All Im saying, please do not tell a young man that he is old enough to be a father between the ages of 16 and 27, but tell him he is too young to be in a committed relationship, or to be some one's husband! That's ass backwards to me! A child is ALOT more responsibility than being in a relationship with another adult!
If you are old enough for one, you should be enough for both, not just one and not the other!

Best Way To Destroy A Race (In Case You Were Wondering)

"The best way to eliminate a race is to give them the means to destroy themselves". This line came from an infamous African American movie Boys In The Hood. And Lawrence Fishburne was exactly on point when he proclaimed this statement. We, the African American community, are given, or we easily [can] obtain the very things that tear down our very own people in the community, drugs, gangs, guns, sex, STDs, HIV/AIDs, liquor, cigarettes, etc etc. We can't blame any one for tearing down our people but ourselves. We continuously allow the BS to enter our neighborhood, walk right pass it in the streets and either make a smart comment or blame it on the white people for oppressing us. Not enough people are fighting to get out of this oppressed state tho. Mentor a child, help someone out, give back. I will keep this post short and simple, don't be a part of tearing down your race, you're either part of the solution or part of the problem, there is no in between.

Aint Too Proud To Beg...Or Are You?

"Now I heard a crying man, is half a man with NO sense of pride. But if I have to CRY to keep you, I don't mind weeping if it will keep you by my side. Aint too proud to beg..."

But is this always the case? I was recently talking to some friends of mine over lunch and we were discussing the educational gap between African Americans and our white counterparts, esp African Americans males. We discussed how African Americans students struggle throughout their academic career and will get passed along but yet haven't learned anything. Some of this is due to lack of resources that just may not be able to that individual, some of this may be due that there is only one parent in the household, who works a lot to provide for the family, so as a result the time and money that can should be invested in a child isn't, but a large part, that I feel contributes to this problem is the fact that African Americans don't ask for help.
African Americans, esp the males, are taught to be strong, the provider, they cannot be seen as weak. And asking for help, the majority of males feels is a sign of weakness. This problem traces all the way back to the early stages of a male's childhood. For example, if a little boy can't read in the first grade, when the teacher calls on him to read outloud, if he stutters or doesn't know the word, instead of asking for help, the child will either not read because he doesn't want to feel em brassed and have the whole class laughing at him or he will act out so that he won't have to read. Males, subconsciously learn at an early age not to ask for help because of their pride. And they take this attitude with them throughout life, so instead of seeking help for something they can't understand in 6th grade, they struggle and do just enough to pass and never ask for help.
We, in the African American HAVE to do better! We have to teach our children that there are NO stupid questions! Children of other races and colors will ask a teacher a question until that child is blue in the face and a black child can be in that very same classroom and have that same problem and could be struggling just as much as the child asking the question, and the black child will sit therein silence and suffer.
This is NOT good! We have to have the courage to ask for help! NO ONE made it in this world alone! Someone needed help from someone else even if it was only a little help!
A man will be quick to ask and beg a woman for forgiveness (some won't even do that, they will let a good woman walk out of their life because of their pride! Smh) but won't ask a teacher how to solve a problem!
Those of us who make it, have to look back to our community and give back! Each one, teach one. We have to show them that it is ok to not know something, you just have to seek knowledge and ask for help!
As for the resources not being available in our community, well that's a whole other blog topic, oh but its coming soon!

Moral of the story: don't be too proud to ask for help. At one point of time, everyone needs help in this lifetime. No one can make it alone.