Thursday, January 13, 2011

Rings.Before.Babies.Movement




Here's a little something that I have been up to lately....
A couple friends that I went to Howard with and myself joined together to start the Rings.Before.Babies. Movement.
Its a rather simple movement.
Be a wife before you are some one's "baby mama"....for lack of a better phrase.
The movement wasn't put in place to judge or degrade people.
Its more of a motivational movement. What follows below is a conversation that took place on facebook about the importance of the movement and what it stands for...


Tahnesha Davis: Well if that's the case, MARRIAGE BEFORE SEX!! its only right, cus last time i checked anything is possible and can happen even if protection is involved. i guess it means have abortion and then start over in your sense
Marissa L. Charles: Anything can happen ? If birth control and condoms are used correctly, the chance of you getting pregnant, is low.
Abigail Shillingford: But what about the sex before marriage!!!to avoid all chances
Marissa L. Charles: Abstinence? Then go for it! I'm not preaching this from a religious point of view, so i don't know why you all are posing that option to me.
Tahnesha Davis: It's no preaching, just a point! Fact was regardless anything can happen, some things ppl can't prevent from happening
Marissa L. Charles: In 2011 Tahnesha, there are NUMEROUS ways to prevent pregnancy. Birth control, IUDs, Condoms, Cervix Caps, the list goes on, so lets agree to disagree.
Kenese Clay: I agree with Marissa, in 2011, there are too many options to simple say, "stuff happens". I am a firm believer in Rings before Babies. If a man decides that he likes me enough to make me the child of his mother than he should love me enough and respect me enough to make me his wife. And to make sure that happens, birth control and protection are used if there is sex involved.
Kenese Clay: So many people take it as offensive and get mad, but we are simply pushing something positive to the generations to come. Why wouldn't I preach to my younger sisters to not allow a young man to release his children into her and not respect ...her enough to make her his wife? I would be doing both her and that young man a dis-service. African American females are barely getting child support whereas other racial counter parts are getting rings. And why is that? Because people are offended when you say you should have a ring before you have a baby. And because these people are against the movement, the cycle continues. Single mothers raising children, who become teen, single parents, and than it starts all over again. Some women are strong enough to do it on their own and provide everything for their children, hell my mother did. But money canNOT buy everything and money can't teach a young boy to be a man. You need a father around. Your children can have all the worldly desires and still be empty because the one thing they yearn for, desire for, and need, a father, a family, cant be bought in stores.

_______________________________________________________
Any questions or comments...feel free to post them here! We love talking about the movement. And to read more about the movement and other things pertaining to the movement, you can also follow our blog at

http://www.ringsbeforebabies.tumblr.com/

Spread the word!
Rings.Before.Babies.
Its a movement!

Long Time Coming

Whew! I see I haven't written in a while! I have been a little busy bee! LOL...
I was going to continue to try and do the 30 day blog thing but too much time has passed and I simply can't blog as much as I want, so I'm not going to go further with that.
Sorry :(
In other, more pleasant news....IM MOVING!
WWWOOOOOOO!!!!
I was going to move with two close friends, but than other things came up, that I can not disclose, and so it's decided that I will be moving alone.
((Well that wasn't the immediate decision after discovering that I wasn't moving with my two friends, but that has been the final decision))
At first I was scared about actually living on my own, but now, not so much.
I'm still scared but I'm more excited than anything! lol
Its alot of responsibility, but I'm sure I will be fine.
I have been busy calling around and taking trips and making moves so that when I do move in, I will move in with furniture and all of my utilities cut on the same day I move in.
I'm so excited!
I'm so excited!
I'm moving closer to my job, which is great since it takes me two hours to commute to work every day each way!
lol....
I be dead a** tired by the time I make it to my mother's house.
So I'm ready, I'm ready! lol
The big moving day is next Friday, Jan 21st.
And my apartment warming(s)...yes I will be having two...
one for my co-workers and another for my friends and family...
will be the first week of Feb
so look out for invites people!
Did I already mention....
I'M SO EXCITED!
;0

Monday, November 15, 2010

Day 3-They Tried To Make Me Go to Rehabbbbbb


lol....
No one really tried to make me go to rehab, but than again, I have no reason to go to rehab.
Day 3 is my views on drugs and alcohol.
((Check my previous blogs if you want to know why I am going by days for these blogs.))
I don't really know what my view on drugs and alcohol is. I don't use either of them but that's for my own personal reasons.
Drinking burns my chest and smoking burns my nose.
I have a really low tolerance for pain. So I don't partake in those activities because they cause me discomfort.
However I do have friends, some are even close, that do drink and smoke.
That's their thing.
I don't judge.
I don't stop being their friend.
I just don't do it.
So I guess my view would be, if that's what you do, that's fine...but if not, that's fine also.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Day 2-Ten Yrs Down The Road?!

I know it's quite a large gap in between day 2 and day 1 lol but I have been realllllyyy busy! I have been working a lot!
I work for this non-profit organization Housing Opportunities for Women that helps break the cycle of homelessness among women and families. We have women in our title but we help men also. And it's just been really hectic there but it is expected to be calm down by next week sometime. So maybe next week I wont be getting off works so late and I wont be too tired to do anything but go to bed when I make it here! lol
And although my job wears me out, I cannot lie I love my job and I love my co-workers.
Now that that's out of the way.....on to Day 2 topic....where I see myself in ten years


Hmmm in ten years....I plan to be a lawyer by the time. Should have a child or two and happily married with Jonathan and working on continuing my career and building my family a strong foundation.
At least that's MY plan. God may have other plans. And I'm quite ok with that.

At the very least, in ten years I wish to be just if not more blessed than I am currently. In my career field and still building a wonderful future to retire when I get old and senile with Jonathan. Yeah, that sounds about right :)

Monday, November 1, 2010

Day 1!

"Got more than a thing for you, tattoo and the ink for you"

Ummm, for day one I am suppose to discuss my current relationship status....
and Immmm....lol....still w/ my GB....my JXD...yep Jonathan Dowdy. lol...we have made some changes tho and moved some things around. We were planning to get married early on but we changed our mind. We are going to wait some time after law school. And we are also waiting to live together. Although it seems like merely days, we are coming into the home stretch of two years. So we have decided to slow things down a little bit and just enjoy each other's company before jumping the gun on anything. I mean, we do plan on spending the rest of our lives together, so its no biggie. [At least, we PLAN to spend the rest of our life together...hehe]

So that's the update for us for now.
We are just smooth sailing.
We are have minor problems, but really nothing major.
This is the happiest I've been in a long time and I owe a lot of that to Jonathan.
He has my heart, like in a major way.
So I guess I can say....
my current relationship status is: taken and loving every minute of it.
:-)
Always and Forever #TeamDowdy

♥


Oh Leetttsss Doooo IIItttt!!!! LOL

Someone emailed me this...I actually think it was spam because....it was in my spam folder! LOL...But Imma do Imma do it Imma do it! Oooowwwww.....LEGO!!!




day 1 - your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is.
day 2 - where you’d like to be in 10 years.
day 3 - your views on drugs and alcohol.
day 4 - your views on religion.
day 5 - a time you thought about ending your own life.
day 6 - write 30 interesting facts about yourself.
day 7 - your zodiac sign and if you think it fits your personality.
day 8 - a moment you felt the most satisfied with your life.
day 9 - how you hope your future will be like.
day 10 - discuss your first love and first kiss.
day 11 - put your ipod on shuffle and write 10 songs that pop up.
day 12 - bullet your whole day.
day 13 - somewhere you’d like to move or visit.
day 14 - your earliest memory.
day 15 - your favourite tumblrs.
day 16 - your views on mainstream music.
day 17 - your highs and lows of this past year.
day 18 - your beliefs.
day 19 - disrespecting your parents.
day 20 - how important you think education is.
day 21 - one of your favorite shows.
day 22 - how have you changed in the past 2 years?
day 23 - give pictures of 5 guys who are famous who you find attractive.
day 24 - your favourite movie and what it’s about.
day 25 - someone who fascinates you and why.
day 26 - what kind of person attracts you.
day 27 - a problem that you have had.
day 28 - something that you miss.
day 29 - goals for the next 30 days.
day 30 - your highs and lows of this month

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

You Just...Greedy!!!

“Like it’s my fault that she got on welfare. I told her, we can go half on the Similac and a daycare. But no, she got comfortable at the bottom and wanted to stay there.”

Lyfe took the words right out of my mouth. I couldn’t have said them any better myself. Now I know that there are indeed some single moms who truly do need the assistance from child support. But I also know quite a few mothers who don’t. They (the mothers) are doing fine and some are even more than fine without the assistance of child support. However, these females are still bitter. And as a result, the child’s mother tries and put the child’s father on child support out of spite. There are two things that I have learned when it comes to dealing with spite:
1) Spite is a very hard emotion to contain, which leads to a person trying to (and sometimes succeeding) to take a form of action.
2) 98.9% of things done out of spite, the person who acted out of spite ends up regretting it down the road, rather it be short or long term.

Now I am NOT by any means letting the males off of the hook. If you were man enough to create the baby, be man enough to take care of the baby. Take care of your responsibilities fellas! And don’t stop being a father to your child if/when you stop messing around with the child’s mother. Both parents need to act as adults when it comes down to matters that pertain and affect the child.

But women definitely need to stop acting out of spite when it comes to these children, because the one that gets hurt and affected by it the MOST is the child. Oh, toand a little ps for you ladies that is quick to pull the child support card and then turn around and try pull the “you can’t see your baby card”….nope, nope! You cannot do that ladies. If a man (or woman) is paying child support, that man has visitation rights bound by the law because of the fact that he is paying child support. So when you think you’ve won because you got your “baby daddy” on child support AND you control when he gets to see the child, you’re wrong! You’re out here losing and you are doing your child a disservice and an injustice. And don’t be mad if he turns and take YOU to court because you are denying him rights to see his child. You must remember when playing with fire, to be careful, because someone is bound to get burned, and that someone just may be you.