It Couldve Been Me!!!!

" It could've been ME, with no clothes or shoes and no food to eat, It could've been me without your love Lord tell me where would I be....I just can't thank you enough no matter how hard I try, Jesus I realize it could've been ME"
What is the true meaning of Thanksgiving? To give thanks right! Some people often take the things that they have in their life for granted, and I will not lie, I am one of those people. I complain and nag alot about what's wrong in my life and don't take the time to acknowledge all the good as much as I should.
It is very true that I have problems, but it could def be much worst than what it is. I am blessed with good health, my sanity, friends, family, a fiance, a good education,a job, I don't have to worry about where my next meal is coming from, I have shelter, good clothes, shoes, and even purses and accessories of all sorts. I will be blessed with the opportunity to go to law school in the fall and than after that blessed to be able to have a career in my choice of field.

I think now a days people are so focused on what they don't have and trying to get what they don't have, that they fail to see all of the good things that they already do have right in front of them. People fail to appreciate their current blessings. And that must stop before it is all taken away.
I originally was about to write on another topic but something moved me to write this one. It is 4am, I have to get up for work at 8am. There is no reason I should be up, because I'm def NOT doing any Black Friday shopping, too many people and I don't like crowds! Ugh! I am blessed to not have to go through that! But here I am writing this...they say if you want to hear the Lord laugh, tell HIM what YOUR plan is...I know the Lord is chucking at me right now than....
LBS ((Laughing But Serious))
I am also thankful for my struggles, trials and tribulations. For if I did not go through what I did in my past, I would not be where I am today. Like A. Keys said in her song Lesson Learned, "Life's perfect aint perfect if you don't know what the struggles for. Falling down aint falling down if you don't cry when you hit the floor. It's called the past, cause I'm getting pass and I aint nothing like I was before...you outta see me now. Yes I was burned but I called it a Lesson Learned"
Jeeeezzz I love that song!
Anywhooo lol....
The point is, be thankful for what you have and what you don't have. You have what you have for a reason and you also have what you do not have for a reason. Everything isn't for everybody, and God has a different plan for you. Be thankful for the blessings you had, the blessings you have now and for the blessings to come. When I pray, I thank God for the blessings I deserve and have earned and for those that I know I didn't deserve but he gave to me anyway! Now that is an awesome God right there!
I just thank the Lord, because it couldve been me! And I will try my best to make a conscious effort to not complain and nag so much because it could always be worst. And I will try my best to appreciate what I have in front of me. Can't make any promises, but I will put forth an effort to try! ;)
Happy Turkey Day of 2009!

Can You Help Me????

"My piece of bread only belongs to me when I know that everyone else has a share, and that no one starves while I eat." Which is how the world suppose to be. We, as human beings, and esp African Americans I feel, should always be willingly to help the next person, esp if you are in the condition in which you can help someone who you knows needs the help. But what if you don't even know that the next person needs help?

I had a recent convo with Jonathan, and we discussed the topic of help and African Americans. How us African Americans are so hesitant to ask for help, and why is that? We both came to a conclusion that it is two reasons that us Black folks are not so willingly to put out our hand and ask for help, one being our pride and the second being the fact that some of us are just not using to having the help available there for us.
African Americans, esp males, do not want to ask for help because we scared to be looked upon as weak. The pride always comes before the fall. Don't be afraid to ask someone for help if it is truly needed. Some men I know we will go sick or starve before they ask their fellow peer for some help. We all need someone to help us along this journey in life at one point of time in our lives. The pride can be a very nasty thing when it gets in the way of asking for help. It plays tricks on your mind and make you think that people will look at you in a different light when that is just not true. For example, if a man has no money and know that there will be no money coming in, and he has a child, he will steal, rob, and maybe kill before turning to a "friend" and just simply explaining the situation to him and asking for help. Now do not take advantage of a person and always ask them for something if you know you can get it on your own and you just don't want to, or if you are not helping yourself! You ask that friend for help, but you also ask that friend does he/she know anyone that is hiring or anyone that you can do some work for so that you can get some extra cash in your pockets. There is a difference between needing help and just being greedy and/or lazy!
The second reason being that us African Americans are just not used to having help there for us. If you went to any type of public school in a big city, just as Chicago, New York, Philly, etc etc, you may know this from experience. I can only speak on behalf of Chicago Public School systems and no one else because that this the only public school system I have been in, but those teachers do not care to really help you out. The teachers pick their "favorites" and try to help those people out along the way, and if you aren't one of them, than you are S.O.L. For example, I had a teacher in high school, who gave me nothing above a C in her class! I would go to her and try to ask her could she help me to see what she was expecting from me or what better I could do, and she never had any time for me after school. But one of her suppose to be "star" students, always got As and Bs and she always made time for them! As a result I had to find help else where....but some people aren't as fortunate as I am to be able to have the resources to go elsewhere to get help. For some students, these public school teachers are all they have. And it may be sad and unfortunate and not the teacher's fault, but the fact of the matter, is that it's our reality. I know friends and family members who were simply passed along...so now they are grown but only reading and operating educational wise at a 3rd or 4Th grade level. So these people prolly figure what's the point of asking for help if they are always being told no. This is a sad and dim reality for some people and I am so sorry that they have been dealt that deck of cards for their lifetime.
It's always hard to ask for help, no matter who you are...but sometimes, you just have to swallow your pride and ask, because you just may get what you were looking and/or asking for.

And Her Name Is....Me....

I am soooo rude! lol...I realized that I have started this blog and I have been writing for a couple months now, but I didn't formally introduce myself. First off and for most, I really don't feel like I need an introduction, but I will give one this time and this time only. My name is Kenese Clay, soon to be Kenese Dowdy. My friends and family and other "associates" call me Pippi, like Pippi Longstockings the cartoon character. I got that name from a friend in high school and it has just stuck with me.
I am the oldest of five, and I love all my siblings. I am a senior at the prestigious Howard University in Washington, DC....yeah I go to the BLACK HARVARD! lol...
I love both my parents dearly, but I am a die hard Daddy's girl. I love my grandmother just as much as I love my mother.
I have been blessed to find my soul mate at the young age of 20.
I have one very best friend/sister, Pavielle. I have alot of other close friends, but not that many.
I have a god daughter, who I love and adore dearly, Zaria.
I don't hang with females like that, they are too catty and petty and will fuck you over faster than a male will sometimes.
I am a naturally mean person, and I have a major attitude and mouth problem. I say what I feel and most of the time without thinking and without hesitation.
Once you get on my bad side, it's really, really REALLY difficult to get back on my good side. But on the other side of that, if I consider you a "friend" or even someone I am cool with, I will ride with you to the fullest. I am one of those people, who you would rather have on your side than against you. I can ruin people's lives, yes I have the power to do so.
Once I've made up my mind that I no longer want to be bothered with a person, that's it for that person. I am a very stubborn individual.
I am a very intelligent individual as well. I will be attending law school next year. I plan to be making ALOT of money before I turn 26. I am very passionate about criminal law.
I am very determined and passionate. Once I set my mind to accomplish something, I do it, no matter how long it takes me. Thats true dedication.
If I am good at something, believe me, you will know.
My three fav things, besides Jonathan of course, lol...are music, books, and boots. You can never go wrong with any of those things.
Four things I am good at/enjoy doing are taking pictures ((LOVE DOING THAT!)), arguing, texting, and ignoring people.
Four things I hate the most would be stupid stalkers ((I wouldnt know you were silently stalking me if you didnt make a status about it, or write it on a mutual friend's wall....goofy!)),liars, phony people, and odd numbers!
I learn something new every day, and I try to act like a role model and a woman more and more everyday....although it works out better for me on some days than others lol
I am a workaholic...I like having my own money and I like getting gifts for people and doing nice things for those I love....
And last but not least, I love to laugh. Laughing is my favorite!
So that's me....in a nutshell.
Now back to my regularly scheduled blogs.... :)

ps - One more thing...if you don't like what I write, STOP READING IT AND STAY THE F OFF OF MY DAMN PAGE! IT'S REALLY JUST THAT SIMPLE!
AND IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH SOMETHING THAT I WRITE, DIRECT IT TO ME! PLEASE AND THANK YOU!.....................................................................................
Now back to the regular blogging

You Want To Be Like Those Girls In The Movies....

I recently came across this video on someone else's blog and I couldn't help but to indulge myself and watch it, and I loved it! It explains why the wedding ring goes on the fourth finger of the hand and it is so true. Now before watching this video, let me explain something. I have heard alot of buzz about some people I know getting married within the next couple years. That's fine. Congrats!
Believe me, falling in love is the easy part.People often think that marriage is like the love stories and movies....not the case! You have to work to actually stay in love, and that's where people usually go wrong! Both parties have to be willingly to work to stay in the relationship, stay in love, stay committed and faithful, and be willingly to make the necessary sacrifices in order for the relationship to grow.
Marriage is not just like a relationship, in which you can walk away, or just say it's over, or go sleep with someone else because you are mad at your spouse! It does not work that way! Feelings are temporary, so do not act on an impulse and than be stuck with permanent consequences.
And please don't marry someone because you want to "keep them". That's just like the age old theory that if you have a baby by someone, that you will keep them. If a person really wants to stay, nothing can make them leave. And if a person really wants to leave, nothing can make them stay. The sooner people realize this, the better. For those who are actually ready for marriage and have what it takes to make a marriage work ((not a relationship)) congrats and kudos to you! And I wish you and yours nothing but well wishes and happiness. For those of you who know you are NOT ready for marriage, and that you are just in love with the idea of marriage and having a husband, you need to chill out and wait until you are ready. Because if you do something and you are not ready, it will show in your actions and your marriage will fail. You will both cheat, he will cheat, or you will cheat, or some type of abuse will go on, or you will end up with a divorce. Marriage is a big step, so only take it when YOU KNOW YOU ARE READY AND NOT A MOMENT BEFORE THAT!
Please really listen to the message behind this video, and take into account the meaning behind it. Enjoy! ((And thanks B. Lanier, I stole it from your blog lol))

I Don't Need A Lighter Load, But A Stronger Back Will Do Just Fine

As the year slowly progesses, I start to feel the pressures of senior year more and more every day. A project due in this class, a paper due in that class, this law school application due, a personal statement for that application, go to work, LSAT prep...UUGGGHHH!!!!
Sometimes I joke with my friends that maybe I should have just gotten pregnant in high school and just stopped after I got my high school diploma, or just dropped out altogether! I joke but sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like had I taken that route. I look at some of my friends and it seems that they are have a fairly simple, stress free life, whereas Im freakin out on a daily basis. Although this may be true of them now, that doesn't mean that it will be like that later or that it was even like that leading up to this point in their life.
People give you a glimpse into their lives, but you see what they want you to see. Who knows how hard someone had to struggle to get to that stress free, happy moment in their life? I dont, and neither do you.
All this to say that I really hope ALL of this hard work that I am putting in for all endevaors that I am trying to pursue pays off in the end. I am working my ass off for some things right now and I will be working even harder in the near future. I pray to God to continue to give me strength, hope, and faith in Him so that I can endure all that is to come. All the while all of this is going on, I have to keep reminding myself that it is almost over. I graudate in 7 months. It may seem far away, but its really not. This semester is damn near over. Its nov already! After Thanksgiving break, the semester is a wrap! Students come back for like 2 weeks, take final exams, and than it's home for christmas break.
Jeeezzzzz I cant wait to it's over and I am walking across that stage and I am enjoying all of the fruits of my hard labor....all that, to do it all over again in law school! lol
The madness never ends I see! "Lord please be with me. Im not praying for a lighter load, but a stronger back for I know that you wouldn't be too much on me that I couldnt bear." Now.....BRING ON THE CHALLANGES! NO SLEEP TIL MAY! LBS ((LAUGHING BUT SERIOUS))

A Letter To My Soulmate

To My Soulmate,

How many people can say that? They have truly found their soulmate? I am blessed and highly favored for God has brought my soulmate to me, and at such a younger and tender age. But a wise person once time told, "true love doesn't care about age nor time". What you and I have, people will search their whole lives for and may never get close to obtaining, touching, or even feeling just a small spark of! God truly blessed me when He brought you into my life. You have helped me to grow and mature in more ways you know. I thank God for you being in my life constantly. And I continously ask Him to continue to bless us and to keep our faith in this relationship, and to keep giving us courage, strength, and hope to endure both our relationship and our friendship.

You are my best friend. You've always been there when I needed you. I know if I don't have anyone else, I have you in my corner when I feel like the world is against me. You help me to restore my faith in humanity and most importantly, God.

You keep me humble and help me to know that there is more to life than all that appears to glitter and glisten. You have taught me what it means to make plans, have goals, to build, to give back and care for the community. You have taught and shown me how to really and truly make sacrifices. I thank you for all of this and more. I also thank you for sticking with me through all of my MANY ((LOL)) rough patches and showing me/teaching me how to have patience.

You have taught and shown me what hard work really consists of. But I have also had the wonderful opportunity for you to show me how hard work really does pay off ((at least it does eventually LBS)).

I love you, appreciate you, and am gratfeul to have you as my life long partner during this adventure of live that I have yet to face because of all the reasons I previously mentioned, all of the reasons I will mention in the future, and for all of the reasons that won't be expressed. My teacher once told me, "where your treasure is, is where the heart will be". And both my treasure and heart lay in you Jonthan Dowdy.

I know sometimes I can be a handful, but you accept me and love me, flaws, problems, complications, and all. How blessed I am to have such a wonderful person just in my life. And everything that I mentioned is so very special and unique, because not only do I feel this way for you, but you feel the same as I do. And how do I know this? Because you show me in your words that you speak to me everyday and in your actions that you display to me constantly. This love is so special and rare because it's reciporal. Derwin told Melanie that you know when you know when you really and truly love someone and know that that person is the one, because you just do. You are my Derwin ((well without the cheating drama and babies on the side...THANK GOD! LBS)), my knight in shining armor. I thank God for bringing you to me because I was so lost without you.

All of this to say, I love you Jonathan. With all of my heart and very being. And I wouldn't have it any other way. I look foward to this journey of life with you as my partner, through sickeness and heath, richer and poorer, and til death do us part. You are truly my soulmate and my one in a million. I love you.

"Aint No Mountain High Enough Babbbyyy...."

"Listen, baby. Ain't no mountain high, ain't no vally low, ain't no river wide enough, baby. If you need me, call me...No matter where you are, no matter how far, just call my name I'll be there in a hurry. You don't have to worry cause baby...There ain't no mountain high enough, ain't no valley low enough, ain't no river wide enough to keep me from getting to you."

And this is how I feel about my family. Esp my younger siblings. I am the oldest of 5, I have two younger brothers, James ((20)), Crisitan ((7)), and two younger sisters, Kishelle ((17)), and Kenae ((10)). I love all of my younger siblings. And if they ever need me for anything, no matter what it is, they know they can call me up and ask me and Imma break my neck to try to get it. I SUPER♥ them!

Now dont get me wrong, they WRECK MY NERVES SOMETHING SERIOUS! LBS ((Laughing But Serious)) but I wouldnt trade them from the wrong. James is my smoking gun, Kishelle is my chocolate drop, Kenae is my baby model, and Crisitan is my stanka man! Although times get rough, and we get into it, and we argue and fight, there are no other people I would rather be a big sister to. I take my job as their role model very seriously. I try my best to make them proud. Everytime I think about giving up on something, or just relaxing a little on some work, or not going to work, I think about how they need me and look up to me, and how they expect so much from me, so I keep pushing. Senior year is OD hard. Much harder than I imagined it to be...and sometimes I want to give up so bad, or slack off, but I think about how proud and excited my brothers and sisters will be when they come up here in May for that good ole graduation. And how by me pushing through the pain, encourages them to do the same. I want them to look at me, and be able to say and/or think, "Kenese did it, so I know I can." And believe me, James, Kishelle, Kenae and Cristian, you can! You guys can do anything that you put your mind to and trust and believe your big sister will always be by your side, encouraging and helping you to make it through. I love you guys....ALL of you!