I can not focus on anything! There are so many rambling thoughts in my mind that I cant even seem to organize them....and I am a very organized person! I know it may seem like I'm fine to the outsiders, but I'm going crazy in my mind. It is 5am right now, and I am suppose to be working on a 24 page midterm that is due tomorrow, I have a test later on today in one class and a brief homework assignment due in another!
I wont even begin to mention what I have missed in my Creative Writing Poetry class! I went home for V day, and I was only suppose to stay for the weekend....I ended up staying a week and half. And I could blame Jonathan, but he's not the problem. Taking a week off from classes wasn't the problem either because I actually got some work done at home....I cant even pin point the problem actually....
All that I know is that I am tired of school! I am so over it! Like a friend said today on twitter, "my mind has graduated already". This is truly how I feel. As my friend Joel would say, I have a oh so bad case of Senioritis...and it is slowly killing me!
The days are moving so fast, they are all such a blur! Sometimes I feel like I am so behind in my life!
I was excited before hand about going to law school in the fall but I seriously have been thinking lately about taking a year off. I have been in school from pre-school straight up to my college career. To be in school from the age of four up to twenty one is a very long time. I think I may need a break because I def do not want to enter law school with this type of attitude....If I do, I feel like I would be setting myself up for failure....
If I do take a year, I have to be sure that I don't get comfortable and one year turns into three, which turns in six and before I know it, I'm approaching fifty years old and I never made it to law school.
This is a very tough decision. But I have been praying on it, and I am leaning toward the Lord for guidance....
As soon as I make the decision, I'm sure I will feel better because right now I just feel like I'm under a lot of pressure....
Hopefully things will get better.
Scratch that, I KNOW things will get better....they always get better in time.
Dear Lord,
I'm not praying to you or begging you for a lighter load, just a stronger back. I know you brought me this far and you wouldn't leave me here right now to fend for myself. I know you are by my side even when I feel you are not and that I am at my very lowest, you are there....and when I stop seeing two sets of foot prints in the sand...I know it is not because you left my side, but because you carried me for a while....
Sincerely
Kenese
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