Rambling Thoughts

At times, I find myself having just random thoughts in my mind. Sometimes I stress over things, esp things I cant control and I have to remind my thoughts to slow down from racing at 360 per hour to a normal speed. Sometimes I lay in my bed, trying to fall asleep, restless, tossing and turning, and EVERYTHING runs through my brain. And it goes a little something like this:
What if I don't do well in law school?
Maybe I should take a year off before going to law school.
Maybe I am too hard on my mother.
Maybe I am too soft on my father.
Maybe I don't show my grandmother enough love and appreciation.
I wonder what Jonathan is dreaming about.
I wonder if Pavielle is sleep.
I swear the worst feeling in the world is a broken heart.
Why aren't I friends with some of my friends anymore, was it something I did?
Why are girls these days so stupid? I mean I know I been stupid in love before, but if you know you need to get out of the situation because it's bad for you, why are you staying? You are creating problems for yourself at this point.
How will Jonathan and I wedding be?
I know I will cry at the alter.
Tears are coming to my eyes now thinking about us getting married.
How will Jonathan and I first apartment be.
What will life be life after law school and I have passed the bar.
When will Jonathan and I be ready for a child.
How painful is labor....can I go through it more than once?
Dear God, thank you for waking Jonathan up this morning, me up this morning, both sides of my family and Jonathan's family. Thank you for waking us all up in our right mind and in good health. Thank you for getting us throughout the day and protecting us all from dangers and harm both seen and unseen.
Please Lord keep me on the straight path and following in your footsteps.
Please take all ill feelings, hatred, and jealousy from my heart, I am trying everyday to be more humble.
Thank you for bringing Jonathan into my life for he is truly a great blessing. Please continue to us give us strength, endurance, faith, and hope for these next three months while I'm here at Howard and for the rest our lives together.
Amen.
Is Jonathan too good to be true?
I really love that man with all my heart.
What if he hadn't come into my life. Would I still be with my ex.
Does Jonathan ever think about his ex?
How am I going to get this paper done tomorrow? Why did I wait this late to start.
Ugh I wish this sem was over already.
Wait, no I don't, because I will miss my friends.
I will miss Howard, not the problems.
Why cant I sleep.
I want some noodles, but I love the way my dad makes them for me. His taste the best because he makes them with love and I can swear I can taste it.
I wish Jonathan was here to make me a cheeseburger and some fries, just like how he used to in the summer.
I need to start working out but I'm lazy and don't really have the dedication to do such a thing.
I like not working, but not really depending on Jonathan for everything.
I cant wait til we are married.
I want to go home. I wish I was home and in bed with him right now.
I wish we had USA, I want to watch Law and Order.
I cant go to sleep watching Snapped because than it will sink into my dreams.
I wonder what couples at Howard are going to do once they both graduate and they aren't from the same place.
I wonder is anyone up and on twitter? How about fb?
Why aren't I sleep yet?
I really wish girls today wouldn't be so stupid.
I hate Rihanna song Rude Boy...but I love her song Stupid In Love...go figure
I need to download new music for my Ipod
I love music, it soothes my soul.
I wish I didn't have this one tat sometimes, but you leave and learn.
I have to remind Jonathan to pay my phone bill.
I wonder what people are going to get me as graduation gifts.
People want love and relationships but don't want the work that is required that comes with it, than they don't really want it.
I wish I had someone to talk to at 3am. I could call Jonathan but he has to get up for work at 6:30am and that wouldn't be fair to him.
Why haven't I heard anything about the HUH ball? Bison ball? I need to know so Jonathan can come up here and escort me to the ball.
I want to watch Ray, too bad Jonathan has it.
This school year went by fast. Matter of fact, these last four years flew by.
I want some lemon cake.
And a milkshake.
Why didn't I go out tonight? But clubbin and partying is so overrated.
I want me and Jonathan to go on a cruise this summer....maybe for our one year anniversary? But how we would top each year after that?
Why do I love that man?
Why didn't we start dating sooner?
I wonder when we will have our first child.
I wonder how my single friends with kids and not with their baby daddy feel about me and Jonathan relationship.
I wonder who be writing in my formspring.
I wonder who by looking at my fb page.
I wonder who be reading my blogs.
I know I have stalkers, I feel almost honored, but than again, they are being in my business.
Sometimes I wish I was a kid again.
Why was I in such a rush to grow up?
Being an adult sucks sometimes.
I wonder what Cristian is doing...is Huda sleep....Kenae sleep? My mom on the phone? James in the room with some girl?
I wish I had all the seasons of Nip/Tuck right now.
I love The Game...I really wish BET would start a new season already!
What if I'm not ready for law school?

Than the panic attacks start and I have to control myself, calm down and convince myself to slow down my breathing.....
and that's usually when I turn on the tv, to Cartoon Network and the thoughts slow down and I drift off to LaLa Land.....