My dad tells me all the time that people show you who you are in the beginning, its up to you to accept their ways or not. If you stick around in the relationship after they have showed you "themselves" than it is safe to assume that you accept their ways. And I agree with his theory whole-heartedly. Whether it be a romantic relationship or a friendship, a person will show you their ways in the beginning. And you can decide to respond to that situation accordingly by nipping that problem in the bud and cutting that person off and leaving them alone or you can be in denial and act like you didn't see the signs in the beginning, which is what I like to call a selective reality
For example, if you have a friend that borrows money all the time, no matter the amount, and never pays it back he/she has shown you them! Now you can decide to still be friends with that person and just not let them borrow money or you can end the friendship because this will cause a future problem, its really up to you. You see the problem and you can ignore it or respond accordinglying.
Same thing goes with a romantic relationship. A man or woman will show you who he/she is in the beginning and I will give an example for both a male and a female.
If a female doesn't take care of her children and is clubbing all the time, and you MET her in a club don't get mad when you have a baby by her and deem her an unfit parent! If the first time you came over to her crib and it wasn't clean and she didn't have no food in the kitchen, don't get mad and say that she is a messy board and that she doesn't take care of her business inside of the home. You already knew! Yet you still continue that relationship which mean you decided to have a selective reality and chose to stay with that person anyway despite her showing her flaws in the beginning.
Same thing goes for males. If you catch a male lying and cheating and not showing any signs of getting a job and getting his life together within the first couple months that you are seeing him, he is not going to change! A leopard doesn't change his spots! Which means that a person is not going to change anytime soon if they haven't changed by now. You knew he was a lying, cheating dog in the beginning of the relationship so don't be suprised when months or even years later he is still a lying, cheating dog. He showed you who he was but you decided to stay anyway. You chose your selective relaity. You stayed despsite that man showing you his flaws.
Now don't get me wrong. Some people do change, but very rarely. You can't change a person, that type of change has to come from within. A person can want to change for you but they still have to do it themselves. So don't be surprised or disappointed when a person ends the same way they started. They showed you who they were. You can decide to respond to them accordingly or take the option of being in a selective reality...which in other words is denial The choice is up to you!
For example, if you have a friend that borrows money all the time, no matter the amount, and never pays it back he/she has shown you them! Now you can decide to still be friends with that person and just not let them borrow money or you can end the friendship because this will cause a future problem, its really up to you. You see the problem and you can ignore it or respond accordinglying.
Same thing goes with a romantic relationship. A man or woman will show you who he/she is in the beginning and I will give an example for both a male and a female.
If a female doesn't take care of her children and is clubbing all the time, and you MET her in a club don't get mad when you have a baby by her and deem her an unfit parent! If the first time you came over to her crib and it wasn't clean and she didn't have no food in the kitchen, don't get mad and say that she is a messy board and that she doesn't take care of her business inside of the home. You already knew! Yet you still continue that relationship which mean you decided to have a selective reality and chose to stay with that person anyway despite her showing her flaws in the beginning.
Same thing goes for males. If you catch a male lying and cheating and not showing any signs of getting a job and getting his life together within the first couple months that you are seeing him, he is not going to change! A leopard doesn't change his spots! Which means that a person is not going to change anytime soon if they haven't changed by now. You knew he was a lying, cheating dog in the beginning of the relationship so don't be suprised when months or even years later he is still a lying, cheating dog. He showed you who he was but you decided to stay anyway. You chose your selective relaity. You stayed despsite that man showing you his flaws.
Now don't get me wrong. Some people do change, but very rarely. You can't change a person, that type of change has to come from within. A person can want to change for you but they still have to do it themselves. So don't be surprised or disappointed when a person ends the same way they started. They showed you who they were. You can decide to respond to them accordingly or take the option of being in a selective reality...which in other words is denial The choice is up to you!
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